I just taste-tested a bottle of Farmer Jon's Old-Fashioned Apple Cider last night and I'll put it like this; if I watch a romantic comedy movie, it really doesn't matter how good the movie is, because I will never (barring any truly outstanding movies with crossover appeal which would have to be more comedic than romantic) be a fan of the genre. And yes, while my cider ticks all the proverbial boxes and does what it does, therein lies the problem.
I hate cider.
The best way I can describe it is tasting like a very, very light (final gravity reading of 1.007!) white wine watered down and made from apples. If that makes any sense. But it's nice to know that I've really (finally) learned how to read a hydrometer and make an accurate alc/vol guess. After downing the 750ml bottle, I can attest to the 6.6% abv, double-checking for the effects of placebo drunkenness (I've been fooled before). But nope, it's the real deal!
In summary, although I done good (if I may be so bold as to blow my own horn), but now I'm stuck with bottles and bottles of cider that - quite frankly - I'd rather stick a fork in my testicles than drink. I may be a bum, but I've got standards. If I get that desperate, I can always raid the castoff $2 beer singles at work, but for now, I think I can rough it for a day or two.
In completely unrelated news, I may have found a workable solution to my bottle crisis. While I was taking out the recycling, I noticed that the Boundary Road Brew craft series 500ml bottles are almost perfect for my purposes. Proper (cappable) top and no raised watermark. That, plus the 18th Amendment, Jack The Sipper, and Stolen Base are all excellent beers. The less said about Ariba Cadabra Coffee Oatmeal Stout, the better. So if I just buy a bunch of those and drink there beer, problem solved!
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